How similar we are! :grin2:
Back in 2009 I had a Nissan Titan, 9,500lb tow capacity. We bought a 31BHS travel trailer that had a GVWR basically the same as the truck's tow capacity, and of course the dealer was like "Oh, yeah, that's no problem for that truck." Still, I did the math and on paper it all looked good even when factoring in propane, batteries, etc.
During our biggest/longest trip, I decided to stop at some CAT scales to find out what I was really at weight-wise and as full as we'd ever be. Long story short, I was over the truck's GVWR by 600lb or so. Was still within GCWR, trailer GVWR, and axle GAWRs. But, overweight is overweight. Also, that 1/2 ton truck just wasn't happy towing that trailer, even with the WD and sway control hitch. It wasn't terrifying, but it was stressful. We decided we needed a bigger truck, so I sold the Titan and bought a used Ram 3500 SRW MegaCab 4x4 with the 6.7 Cummins. Oh man what a difference! It was amazing, great towing experience. Alas, we didn't use the trailer as much as we wanted and ended up selling it. Then the truck was pointless so I sold it.
We ended up getting some PWCs after that and then decided we'd like to camp at some lakes/rivers and such while taking the PWCs with us, so we bought an older 36' Monaco diesel pusher RV to do that with. We did get a bit of use out of it and did make some pretty fun trips, but we were in the process of relocating and didn't want to deal with taking that RV from the west coast to the Midwest so we sold it in CA.
Then, we ended up buying a pop-up camper with a slide-out. It had most of what we were looking for; Shower, toilet, A/C, fridge. The camping experience with it was great in that when we were inside we didn't feel disconnected from the outdoors. On the flip side, we never used the shower because there were no holding tanks for grey water so I had to make my own setup but that was a pain. The fridge was too small to fit more than a couple 6-packs of soda, the toilet was a cassette type which was fine, but still needed to be hauled somewhere to dump, and there was no thermostat for the A/C to turn it all the way off so the fan was always going. So, at night it was either keep it on or turn it off and hope we don't roast without a breeze.
Last Fall we decided to find the "goldilocks" trailer. Now that we've had pretty much everything we had a pretty good idea of what we liked and disliked and what we really wanted. That's when we decided that a hybrid/expandable trailer would probably be just about perfect. All the amenities of our previous 31ft TT and RV while retaining the tent-like sleeping experience and ability to really open up the screen windows so we didn't feel like hermits. We pulled the trigger on a used Flagstaff Shamrock 21SS yesterday and should be picking it up this week. When we want to camp someplace where we can use our PWCs then my wife will tow them with her SUV, we have plenty of places to do that within a few hour drive so it's not a huge inconvenience.
Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from as I've been there as well. One of the main reasons I bought my diesel Canyon was because I knew we were going to get a trailer like what we bought yesterday and I knew I didn't want to do any long trips towing something like that with a gasser ever again.
I hope everything comes out in your favor and you can make it work, I also know what it's like to want to convince yourself that the setup will be OK because you really want it to work. Problem is, no matter the vehicle it is rarely a fun experience towing at or near the limit and when you find yourself calculating down to the pound to try and make it work then you should probably start looking at something else. I did that yesterday, they had a really nice 27' TT for 33% off and a GVWR of 8,500lb but a payload capacity of 2,000lb, which meant an empty weight of 6,500lb. Well below my 7,600lb tow capacity, right? But I knew it would never work out, even if I could make it work on paper. Not that we were serious about buying it anyway, but it was one of those "Hmmm, COULD we do this?" thought experiments.
Good luck!