There are 2 sizes of nozzles I've encountered in the past 10 years - 1 about the same size as the old "regular" gas nozzles when there was a mix of unleaded and regular at gas stations (gosh I feel old), and a huge nozzle made for very large trucks and tanks. My old jetta could use either but my '13 passat has a special gate in the filler neck that won't allow either a small unleaded nozzle fit nor a large semi nozzle fit. .
I've had the same experience. '04 Golf could take either and 11' Jetta Sportwagen had a "dummy gate" that would only accept the smaller (still bigger than gas) of the two easily. I say, "easily," because I could make it work in a pinch but it took some maneuvering. I don't have my baby duramax yet so I can't comment on it.
I had the Jetta for 3+ years before I realized the smaller gas size wouldn't work. A small local service station replaced some pumps and they installed the wrong nozzle head.
One would think by now all consumer based auto's would have an industry standard filler nozzle size for diesel.
There are only two sizes. One which is slightly bigger than a gas nozzle and this one I would call the standard for consumer vehicles. The other is a larger size that allows for a much higher flow rate for commercial size vehicles. The larger size isn't very common in most situations where a noncommercial customer would fill up. While a lot of service stations will only have diesel in a separate area from the gas, most will have at least one consumer size nozzle. From my experience it is usually the one closest to the building but not always. Rarely will you find a service station that advertises diesel that only has the commercial size nozzle. It's a big enough difference that I can easily tell just by driving near the pump without having to get out of my vehicle.
The problem with the larger ones that are meant for large commercial vehicles and saddle tanks is the flow rate. They pump out way too fast for the size of the system on a commuter vehicle. It will quickly become overwhelmed and spill out while pumping. You can only pull back on the lever/trigger about 1/4 of the way to avoid spilling when using one in a normal vehicle. That flow rate is obviously very helpful when filling up 100+ gallons.
I've never seen a saddle tank nozzle on a diesel pump that is integrated into a gas pump so that's always what I look for first at a new station. Second best is a separate diesel pump that is in the same bay/area of the gas pumps. At stations where the only diesel option is off in a different area, if there are multiple pumps they usually have one small size and the rest are saddle tank size.